lost days
They say don’t become a philosopher until you become rich. Unfortunately i read the monk who sold his Ferrari too early in life.
I can’t believe it’s August already - over the past year I’ve worked and worked. Everyday has been different. So many projects. So many experiments.
Friends, family have stopped asking what I do. Maybe they wonder what’s this guy even working on? what is there to show for it ? They have hope I’ll do something. Make something of myself. Sometimes that scares me. Am I letting them all down?
There’s a small whisper in my ear - it’s enough, it’s time to rest for a bit, get some stability. You are not even home. You are in a foreign country. Just follow the path that was set.
But my mind never rests. I’m always thinking what next? What should I do? Pulled in so many different directions. On nights like these I essentially start to question everything - why is the world the way it is?
When my friends complain about their plain corporate routine, I laugh (and cry) a little on the inside. Do they know the alternative isn’t any better?
I’m in the liminal space and I don’t know where it ends. I’m just embracing the journey now. Working as much as my body and mind lets me. Trying to increase the surface area of my luck. Maybe one day all this struggle will be worth it.
Belief.