getting older and figuring life out
It's like i'm floating. that's how i'd describe my last few weeks. certain things are happening. there's some movement. but i kind of intentionally slowed down. i stopped starting new projects and pushing myself to the brim. i simply opted for more leisure, a movie here, a meetup there. something like that.
i was at a meetup today. someone asked my age - i said 28. yes yes i turned 28 recently (i'm still gen-z btw). others were in their early 20s. and suddenly someone said, "It's time to get loaded." it was kinda implied that i should have my shit figured out by now.
but is there a time limit to figuring stuff out? where does this pressure come from? i know older folks, everyone's figuring stuff out all the time, even those whom we think have it all figured out.
i don't know. earlier i would've had this immense pressure to just come back home and work. why? i don't know. it's how i've dealt with my insecurities and shortcomings. more work and everything will be fixed. always angsty. driven by anxiety. i don't think it's served me well. its no way to live life.
so right now i'm just floating. with my eyes open. i'll figure something out. hopefully soon.